You might be a Libertarian if you think 99 percent of politicians give the rest of them a bad name.
You might be a Libertarian if you think that politicians should be limited to two terms, one in office and one in jail.
You might be a Libertarian if you believe in Capitol Punishment... you believe that everyone in the Capitol ought to be punished.
You might be a Libertarian if you think that rather than send our boys to die in Bosnia or Saudi Arabia, we should just shoot them here and save the shipping cost.
You might be a Libertarian if you think it should be harder to get welfare than it is to get a building permit.
You might be a Libertarian if you think that a magazine worth banning is probably a magazine worth buying.
You might be a Libertarian if you think that crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
You might be a Libertarian if you think that the problem with civil servants is that too many of them are neither civil nor servants.
You might be a Libertarian if someone asks you if you mind if they smoke and you ask them to be more specific.
You might be a Libertarian if someone asks you to take a urine test and you feel like telling them you'll give them a taste test.
-By JRadcliffe on ConservativeHQ.com forums
Investigators at a major research institution have discovered the
heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been
tentatively named Governmentium (Gv). This new element has no protons or
electrons,thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1
neutron, 125 deputy neutrons, 75 supervisory neutrons, and 111 team
leader neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since it has no electrons, Governmentium(GV)
is inert.
However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it
comes into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of
Governmentium (GV) causes one reaction to take over four days to
complete when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium (GV) has a normal half-life of approximately three years;
it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
portion of the deputy neutrons, supervisory neutrons, and team leader
neutrons exchange places. In fact, the mass of a sample of Governmentium
(GV) will actually increase over time, since with each reorganization
some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
speculate that Governmentium (GV) is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass". You
will know it when you see it.
-Author Unknown
[A voter] says that whenever he mentions Libertarians to someone, it seems the person says something like, "Those are the people who don't believe in rules and think you should be able to own your own tank if you want." I say, "That's not true. We do believe in rules. We insist that when you drive your tank, you always stay on the right side of the road."
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