Chapter Seven: Choices and Dreams "What do you want for breakfast, Malachite?" Lita poked her head around the corner to speak to the handsome young man fidgeting across from Mina at the dining room table. "We have pancakes, omelets, cereal and oatmeal." Glancing up, Malachite blushed at Jupiter's scrutiny. It had been over a thousand years since anyone had looked at him with such gentle concern. He found he missed it. "Nothing for me. I merely would like a glass of juice if you have any." Nodding, Lita turned to Jadeite. "And how about you? What would you like?" Sneaking a quick peak at Raye, Jadeite smiled. "An omelet if you don't mind Lita. You always used to make the best omelets." Grinning at the compliment, Lita flipped her long shiny ponytail over one shoulder. "Still do! What does everyone else want for breakfast?" Aurora and Auriel both opted for pancakes while Zoisite and Nephrite followed Malachite's lead in requesting only juice. Ami declined the omelet and opted to simply pour herself a bowl of cereal, as did Raye. Serena was still passed out in the corner, clutching Darien's necklace tightly in one hand. Auriel motioned to the sleeping Princess with one hand. "Shouldn't we wake her?" Glancing at Serena, Aurora sighed. The tiny moon princess slept soundly, but she knew that Serena's mind was anything but still. "Give her time. I think Serena has more problems right now than four returned Generals." * * * * * * * * * * * This was true. In dreams Serena walked the ancient corridors and crumbling halls of her lost Moon Kingdom. "Anyone here?" she called, shakily. No answer but the dim echo of her own terrified voice. It watched her. Serena jumped at the foreign voice oozing through her head. She instinctively knew that if she screamed, no one would hear her desperate plea. "Oh no," she whispered. "Please, not now." She was like you. Wandering in the lost hallways of her mind. Such a shame. A low chuckle shivered across her nerves and Serena cringed. Normally she would have stood tall and announced herself as Champion of Justice, but this was different. This was no ordinary battleground, this was her mind. "What? Who was like me? Who?!" Serena shrieked to the vast ceiling. "What do you want from me?" A fingernail of pleasure mixed with pain shimmied up her lower back. Standing her ground, she moaned softly. What do I want? What do I want? I could be a big bad wolf and eat you alive as you stand here trembling, and you ask me what I want? I want you. I want you, Serena, and your little Scouts too. "No." Serena shook her head as the fingernail of pain-pleasure intensified, spreading through her lower back. "I won't let you have them." She tried to move, tried to shake free the wandering wave of sensation, but found her body didn't respond. She was the same as you, you know. A tender little princess prepared to die for her friends, her people. She didn't believe me when I said I'd eat her up in one meaty gulp. There was a slobbery slurping sound from inside Serena's head and she whimpered in fear. Her heart was thumping steadily along at what felt like a million miles an hour, her stomach was rolling with acid, and some bile lay at the back of her throat, prepared to be retched. "I don't care!" Serena screamed bravely fighting the bile down. "I have never lost! NEVER, do you hear me! I won't lose to you nor to any Nega-scum!" But you almost did, little Sailor Moon. Didn't you ever wonder who sent the titan after you? Did it ever cross your fluffy little mind to even consider that anyone with enough power to call up a beast that could destroy one of your own would return to finish the job? "We destroyed it, and we'll destroy you!" If...if you can find me. If you can trap me. I am the shadow, I am the light, I am the morning, and I am the night. I hide in your closet and beneath your bed, I am the killer of fairies dancing in your head. I am the King, I am the knave, I am nothing, I am your slave. Pain coursed its way through Serena's body, gnawing at her joints like rats on a bone. "Stop it!" I will be your slave, Serena. Just give up. Give up all that you will become and join me in this void. Darien will understand, once he has realized you aren't coming back he will take a new bride. Mina is free, is she not? So is Celia, the eternal Sailor. Your legacy will live on and Rini will be born, just not of your body. The world can survive without you. Shaking from the effort to hold her body up as the pain sliced its merry way through her system, Serena gasped out a reply. "You think you're so smart! Why do you need me?" Silly, sad little meatball-head. Didn't you ever wonder why so many men fell at your feet and begged for your love? Melvin, Darien, Seiya, Diamond. Even Jadeite found you lovely and practically irresistible in his brainwashed state. I am much the same way, you are like a golden chain shimmering in a pawn shop window. You are the real worth among trash. "I don't believe you! You lie! I am nothing without my friends, NOTHING!" Another low chuckle. Will you come with me, my golden chain? Somewhere within Serena, a tiny piece of her sat back and considered the possibilities. What would she agree to to make the pain stop? "No!" Then like the chain in the window I shall have to take you. Forget waking up Serena, forget ever seeing your precious friends again. Lovely Sailor Moon, you're mine. * * * * * * * * * * * Mina shivered under the dim lights in the waiting room. Outside a blizzard raged, "Isn't this storm ever going to stop?" "It will eventually, but...who knows." Malachite stared out at the whirling waves of snow and shook his head. "It might ease up later." Mina drew away from him and fingered the chain Serena had been dropped when they wheeled her away. "It's been a week, Malachite. What is going on?" The tall man shrugged. "Perhaps the doctors are correct. Maybe she's been working too hard and only needs rest." "That is the biggest load of..." Lita flushed as Nephrite's hand touching her own silenced the oath sitting on the tip of her tongue. "I really don't think they know what they're talking about," she finished instead. "What gets me," Raye interjected, "Is that none of the boys have called to check in. Darien is happily doing whatever wherever they went and he doesn't even know that Serena is lying in a hospital bed in a coma!" The fiery priestess flopped back down on the couch with a glare. "I am spending way too much time here these days," she muttered. Glancing over at Raye, Ami sighed. Her fingers danced quickly over her laptop, entering the events of the past few weeks in to the Scout's history. "What I am still having trouble grasping," she began, "is why Mina collapsed. Do you think that these attacks are from the Nega-verse?" Flushing at the mention of her collapse, Mina shook her head. "I promise you, I didn't end up here due to the Nega-verse. I was...I was..." "Excuse me ladies." A voice interrupted Mina's tardy confession. "Mina?" Glancing up, Mina turned a brilliant pink at the sight of Dr. Quiao. "Hello Doctor." The woman glanced approvingly at the group gathered in the waiting room. "I hear you are here to visit one of our coma patients. Have you given any thought to the shelter I suggested? I know it would seem like sacrilege to a girl such as yourself, but losing a ba...lot of blood like that usually makes one think, wouldn't you say?" "I thought about it and the situation rectified itself," Mina replied softly, tears spilling over her cheeks. "He called the next day. He accepted a scholarship in England." The woman shook her head, the bun at the top quivering slightly at the sudden movement. "Well, it's for the best, I'm sure. If you ever need to talk or need me to arrange a meeting with a counselor friend of mine, feel free to call." The woman strode from the room and Mina found herself as the center of seven incredulous stares. "Wow," Lita whispered, "She was a major," she glanced at Nephrite, "...major snob." "Yeah," Raye laughed, "What was that all about Mina. When she said you lost a lot of blood, I thought she was going to say something like 'baby' for a second." Ami nodded. "So did I. But since that is impossible, I suppose we could have been hearing things." They returned to their activities and Mina felt her eyes fill up with tears. Only Malachite noticed the way she ran the heel of her palm along her cheeks as if scrubbing away the unshed ones. "It isn't impossible," she whispered just loudly enough to catch all of their attention. "Would you like to repeat that?" Lita hunkered down in front of Mina. "Because if I heard what I just think I heard, you have some explaining to do." Ami raised her laptop and began hurriedly entering logarithms. "Aurora said..." Mina's head snapped up. "I am very aware of what Aurora said. She's right. She is right, we were wrong. I found that out when I lost the baby." Raye sucked in a deep breath. The Generals just sat there wide eyes and pale. Suddenly Malachite stood and strode from the room, Zoisite on his heels. "You were pregnant," Lita whispered. "You were pregnant. But that's..." "Not impossible," Mina supplied. "The night Solan was discovered I was so miserable with missing Adam I went out and got caught in the storm. I found a place to stay to dry out and I think the cocoa I was drinking had something extra in it, because when I came to I was naked and lying next to a friend of Solan's I had met the night before. Jeremy...he is Solan's best friend, though neither one of us knew at the time who the other was." "You don't remember a thing?" Raye stated. Mina shook her head. "Not a thing." "But I thought only the Knights could..." Nephrite supplied shakily. "Apparently not in this life," Ami concluded. "So we could have a chance?" Raye turned to Jadeite and her eyes widened at his quiet question. It hadn't even occurred to her to think that their newly recovered loves from the Silver Millennium might want a second chance at their untouchable princess' on more even ground. Fate had nothing to do with this decision, it was theirs alone. "Adam would hate me," Mina whimpered. "I used to be so happy all the time, so carefree. Now I'm just a...a..." she snuffled and leaned in to Lita for support, her dark golden tresses shaking with the force of her tears. "Shhh," Lita whispered to her friend, "What ever you were going to say, don't. You aren't a bad person, it was an accident. It's okay Mina. It's okay." "Does the father know?" demanded a rough voice from the hallway. Malachite stood there, clenching and unclenching his fists. Mina hiccuped and shook her head. "I never told him. I never had any idea until the baby was long gone." "I can not believe that red-haired twerp just up and left you to face this." Malachite snapped. "He should have been able to realize something was wrong the day you returned from the hospital." He gathered the still shaking Mina into his embrace. Lita began to protest and then stopped. It wasn't jealousy that had driven Malachite from the room, it was sorrow. His eyes were bright with tears of his own, unshed, but still present. She shivered in his warm arms. The feeling was nice, too nice for her peace of mind. "Jeremy barely saw me after I found out. I was going to tell him the day..." Malachite shifted away from her to gaze into her puffy, tear-streaked face. "Jeremy?" He had left before Mina had explained the entire situation, so she reiterated. At the close of the story, he shook his head. "What happened to Adam?" Mina licked her lips. "Adam died, Malachite. About seven or eight months ago." Shock coursed through Malachite's system. His greatest enemy in the Silver Millennium was dead? He had been reborn and then died? Clutching Mina to him again, Malachite shivered with shock. "I am sorry, Mina. I truly am." And he was. He and Adam may have competed for Mina's hand, but Malachite always knew deep down that the fiery knight would be one of the few men he would have eventually forgiven Mina for loving. Adam had been strong and gentle, a rare combination in a man and Knight. He alone of the other Knights approached worthy of Mina's love in Malachite's opinion. Down the hall, a beeper sounded and nurses rushed about. "Room 412! Code Red!" boomed the intercom. Lita turned to Ami and tears sprang up in her eyes. "That's Serena's room!" * * * * * * * * * * * In dreams Serena ran up flight after flight of stairs. Her breath rasped out between tightly clenched teeth, she was afraid of making a sound that would draw the evil one's attention. "Darien," she whimpered, and started up her next flight. We have all of eternity, Serena. We have until Pluto gives up the Gates of Time and beyond. Give it up Sailor Moon. You will be mine. I need you and you need me to live. Call it a bargain. Taking a quick look over the rail of the stairs, Serena reeled back. It was so high she couldn't even see the ground. "How long have I been running?" she demanded. "How long?! Who are you!? Who?" Ahh, pretty Serena, Sailor Moon. I am the bogeyman beneath your bed, I am black, I am red, I am... "Cut the crap!" Serena yelled. "I don't want to hear anymore of the stupid rhyming b.s. you pull from who-knows-where! What is your name?!" Another low chuckle shivered through her thoughts. This one was different from the first. The other had been merely lustful and derisive, something she could handle. This voice was different, older and distinctly female. Why Serena...I am you of course. I am that thing inside you that doesn't want all this thrust on her. I am the part that wants to be a normal girl again, free of Raye's taunts, Darien's love. He drags us down you know, he pulls us under the riptide of our mind. "NO!" Serena screamed, nearing the edge of the rail. "NO! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" She pressed herself against the rail, her lower stomach shivering at the icy metal touch through her clothing. She glanced down at the feeling. Instead of her waitress uniform she had been wearing ever since her arrival in this particular hell, she was now mysteriously garbed in her princess gown of thin white material. "NO," she screamed again, the word dying a little each time she said it. A thought occurred to her. Believe me, I love you. I am you and you are me, we are together through eternity. "Well," Serena began as she tested the balance of the rail by leaning forward on it slightly, "if you are me and I am you, what would..." she hoisted one leg on the shaky rail and stood, "...this do?" Serena jumped. The darkness whizzed at her from all angles, and somewhere in the back of her mind she could hear the voice gibbering and screaming in rage. "THERE!" she bellowed as the icy air ripped her clothing and stung her cheeks, "NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!" This. Serena's descent was abruptly stopped. She glanced around like Alice in the pit beyond the Rabbit's Hole. Suspended in midair she could see the miles of space beneath her feet, the portraits donning the walls of the curved staircase around her, and feel the pressure of the air above. Feeling a bit like the befuddled Alice, Serena sighed. "Oh bother." So I lied. I am more than you, Serena. I am who you would have become if you had never accepted Luna in to your life, if you hadn't been so childishly happy about accepting a pretty glittering locket. What a child you were. You were as excited about that measly thing as a raccoon is a glittery chain. Where did it lead you? Where did it lead us? Serena felt around for her locket. She had forgotten it even existed in this nightmare world. It was gone! "MY LOCKET!" she raged, "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY LOCKET?" The male voice was back, easier to deal with. Why Serena, it would do you no good here. You can't heal yourself, see? A low light glimmered in front of Serena's eyes, from it a small tinny sound began. The voice sang along, it had the audacity to sing along to the song she and Darien shared. Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight...soldier of love...my only love...hehehehe. "Don't" Serena moaned. "Please don't. Please, I can't take it. Please, not Darien, don't you dare do anything to Darien." But I thought you wanted your locket Serena. My, what a confusing girl you are. "I didn't want that locket and you know it! I wanted my Silver Crystal locket!" Well you should have specified little Moon Princess. "Why?" Serena moaned again. "Why are you doing this to me?" There was a pause, then the voice returned, its timbre almost sad. Because I am tired, Serena. I am tired of being alone and you are not good company for me. "What?" Serena was confused. "I thought you said..." You, and the other you. You, the pure, loving Serena of Twentieth Century Earth. The reincarnated Princess Serenity, Sailor Moon, Champion of Justice. You are Serena, friend of Molly, kind woman and gentle child of the Moon. She is not. Everything you are, she is not. She once was, but they took it away from her and now she wishes to take it away from you. Do you understand? "No," Serena whimpered, tears dripping down her face and plummeting unseen miles to the shattered earth below. "No, I don't." Icy fingers caressed her. Serena, did you ever wonder what would happen if Luna didn't discover you? Where your life would have gone if Alan and Anne hadn't arrived forcing Luna to reawaken the Scouts? Nodding in the blackness, Serena ceased crying. "Yes. I used to wonder what the point was, but then I realized it was because I had been chosen and there was no one else. Without me there would be monsters destroying Tokyo and the world and if it weren't for the Sailor Scouts, they would take over." What if I told you that you were the magnet for these evil powers and monsters? What if I told you that without Sailor Moon and the Sailor Scouts, this galaxy would turn calmly from one day to the next? "I wouldn't believe you." But what if you had to? What if I showed you proof? Without you the world still turns, I promise. The voice changed timbre, growing almost tender and desperate. Serena, the world grows old whether you are there or not. I need you, she needs you. The world does not; in fact you are a threat to it. A mirror appeared before Serena. A slowly turning globe was revealed, and as if a movie they neared the surface of the Earth, skimming in for a close up. Serena watched with open eyes as Lita was shown hugging a young man tightly to her. He was not Ken, she knew that much from the back. "Lita," she whimpered, horrified that Sailor Jupiter was without her Knight. That is Lita's old boyfriend she keeps telling you about. They got back together soon after she transferred to your school. She and Ken are friends of course, but they will never be more in this life due to the fact that Lita doesn't feel the Silver Millennium connection without you. She loves him, but isn't in love with him. The people shifted and Serena found herself staring at Ami and Greg. They were nose to nose in front of the monthly score board. "Ami! What is she doing?" The female voice shimmered in, barking a short feral laugh. Oh, Ami in this world is exactly as smart as our friend Greg. Without Zoisite to show up to steal his Rainbow Crystal, he still has his psychic powers. He still has a crush on her, but she sees him as a threat to her grades and position as top student. They bicker often, letting their hearts fly free without the aid of their heads. Eventually they will marry, but it won't be because they know anything about the Silver Millennium. It'll be because she foolishly bet him on a chess game. Anything he desires (his choice was her hand in marriage) against his secret study tips. That was one match Greg was determined to win. "And Mina?" Serena was afraid to look. Beg Ben flashed in front of her face, gonging hollowly in the silent night. Mina stood in front of a group of people, smiling and tossing her head for a snapping camera. She never knew she was Sailor V much less Sailor Venus. Her mother still has her modeling, but she does it for the money alone. She never meets Adam and he never dies, she lives her life as if he wasn't there; she never falls in love with her friend Alan either. Adonis or "Bandit Ace" lives on as well, completely unaware of his past life as one of Malachite's soldiers. "Oh," Serena whispered. So do you see now why it would be better for them if you came with us? Not once would they have died, unlike the many close calls and actual deaths at your expense. Certain people would still be alive, Adonis, Adam. Do you understand now? "But how are they better off?" she snapped, shaking her head. "I just see them living like I had never arrived. I can't see how it's better off." Look at Raye and Darien then. "No," Serena moaned, afraid of the answer she knew would be blazing before her. "No, I won't look." She and he met in a martial arts class several years after what would have been your fight with Beryl. Chad had just gone home after he and Raye had a nasty breakup and Darien was the perfect companion for our lonely Mars. She felt she had met him before, but could never place when or where. Chad stayed with his parents, Raye and Darien get married. They live a normal loving life. Darien is not clouded with thoughts of the nonexistent Tuxedo Mask, so he is free to understand the depth of emotion Raye feels for him. He soon shares it. Tears trickled down Serena's face. "He looks happier without me." Without the troubling memories of his princess begging him to set him free, Darien is free to complete the grief cycle of his parent's death and accept their passing as a part of life. He is a warmer, gentler person in this life, Serena. He is happier here. "And me?" Serena choked out. "What of me? Where do I stand in this world without Sailor Moon?" In a moment Serena. Look at Saturn and Pluto. Pluto will never be killed in protecting you. Saturn will grow up a simple young girl, with her loving father. She will never die, never become possessed. Corrine and Nerissa live and love without you, and die together at a ripe old age. Do you see? Do you see how you never picking up that locket changes things? "Me," she insisted. "What is it about myself do you not want me to see?" The mirror shimmered one last time. A hundred images flashed through her mind as it began her life from the instant she woke up and raced out the door on that fateful day. She woke up late, raced out the door, but instead of stopping to the three grubby little boys teasing a small black cat; she raced by, screaming at them to stop it, but not stopping herself. The images sped up and years flashed before her eyes. "Serena," Andrew said, "I didn't hear you come in." "What's the matter, Andrew?" He wiped on tear from his eye. "My girlfriend and I broke up." The night was cool on Serena's skin. She stepped out on the patio and felt warm hands caress her shoulders. "Serena," breathed a voice, "we're leaving soon. Will you come with us?" Serena turned and hugged the boy beside her. "Seiya, Andrew and I just broke up. What you're suggesting..." He dipped his head down and cut off any protests. Months later they stood at an altar clasping hands. Two young men stood after the speeches and took Seiya aside. Serena followed, her cheeks pink, but she had to hear what was going on. Her fiancé had been secretive lately. "Fighter," one said, "we leave today. The Princess shall miss you, but it is necessary. This scouting mission has offered up no clues as to the Sailors in this universe, so we go to the next. Goodbye." The three hugged and as they sauntered out the door, Serena wrapped her arms around her love. "Seiya," she began, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but..." She was broken off as his lips closed over hers again, the usual silencer in their relationship. Years later, Serena fiddled her thumbs in a waiting room. Her thoughts flitted through her childhood years. "Mrs. Kou," broke a voice, "Dr. Chiba will see you now." Serena nodded and touched her burgeoning belly gently. "I don't suppose I could get a hand up? I'm feeling very heavy today." Entering the office, Serena was impressed with how neat and tidy it was. It wasn't easy cleaning after two children and Seiya; there just wasn't enough time in the day. "Hello, Doctor Darien." Darien turned and smiled as his favorite patient waddled through the door. Though he didn't care for her husband much, Kou Serena was a truly sweet woman who didn't deserve what life had given her. "Hello Serena. How's little Yaten doing?" Serena smiled at his teasing comment. When she had told him Seiya's proposed name for their future son, he had smiled gently and laughed. "Like his father. Loves football so much I swear he's punting in my womb!" Darien helped Serena down on the examining table. "I hope you don't mind but I invited a colleague of mine who specializes in pediatrics to visit. I thought you might like to meet her." Serena shook her head. "No problem as long as she has small hands." Grinning wickedly, Darien chuckled. "No, Mrs. Kou, they're bigger than mine." A light tap on the door and Ami stuck her head inside. "Darien? I'm sorry I'm late, but Raye called about the boys' chicken pox again." Darien shook his head. "She calls you before me. Why am I not surprised? Serena, this is..." Ami stuck her hand out quickly. "No formal titles please. Just call me Ami." The scene shifted again and Serena slammed her hands helplessly into her sides. She opened them slowly to see a small line of people carrying a coffin high up a hill. "We are gathered here today to say goodbye to our dear wife, mother, and friend, Kou Serena. She was a gentle, loving..." "I don't want to see anymore!" Serena screamed. "Make it stop!" But Serena, oozed the female voice, don't you see that this is best. You lived a long fulfilling life as Seiya's wife. You become friends with Ami and Raye through Darien, meet Lita in the market and Mina at a movie. You regain your friends, all of them, one by one, just not in the same context. They live happier lives, can't you see that? "I see that," she whimpered. "But I'm scared. What if I don't want to be Seiya's wife? What if I want to be Sailor Moon?" After all the times you cursed it? After all the times you rejected your powers, refused to use them, trying to make the situation solve itself? After all the times you cried and whined, and said, "I don't want to be here anymore?" After all that and you're still scared to do what's best for your best friends? What kind of friend are you? "You're right," Serena moaned. "I'm a horrible, selfish person. Why didn't I see that before? It's all my fault." The world sighed around her and the figures on the hill seemed to nod in agreement...your entire fault. "I am no longer Sailor Moon," Serena whispered. The invisible arms holding her like Alice in the Rabbit Hole let go and she fell, welcoming the blackness as her body plummeted to the earth. * * * * * * * * * * * Across the world, as nurses and doctors struggled helplessly over the dying body of Serena, Darien awoke in a cold sweat. "SERENA!" The phone rang and Darien scrabbled to reach it in time. "SERENA?" he gasped. "No," a low voice replied, "Darien, its Solan. I have something bad to tell you." Darien shook his head. "I don't want to know. Just tell me Serena's okay first then I can take anything you dish out." The silence on the other end confirmed his worst fear. Darien leapt from the bed and ripped on a pair of jeans. He began throwing his belongings in to the small bag near the foot of his bed. "F*** THIS!" he screamed. "I'm not letting Serena go! I've got to save her! Tell Apollo he can shove what ever mystical plan he has as far up his butt as he wants, I'm going home to Serena!" "You can't" Apollo's weary voice cut through his terrified ramblings. "She's gone, Darien. No one can save her now." Darien stopped stock-still. "But that's impossible," he whispered. "There's Rini." "No," Solan corrected, tears obscuring his voice, "there was Rini. She's gone now, as surely as Serena is." Thumping down on the bed, Darien felt his heart thud painfully to a stop in his chest. "No Rini? No Neo Queen Serenity? No Crystal Tokyo?" Solan sighed, a soft heartbroken sound. "We went on this wild goose chase together. Jeremy left for London three days ago. He is coming back in a while, but the whole Mina thing was a ruse. He does love her, but the whole thing scared him so much he's taking off for a semester. I just checked his Destiny. He would have died if he had remained in Tokyo protecting Mina, but when he returns things will be so altered; he'll probably just be injured instead. Someone has been tampering with the lines of Fate and Destiny and did a good enough job to fool all four of the Solar Circle. Now I see why they did it. To get to Serena." Images from Darien's dream shivered in his head. A leather-clad woman approached the first, idly twirling the tip of her long white ponytail around one finger. "Let one who loves her for who she really is have a chance. You gave that up when you went on that wild goose chase, see?" "Serena," Darien whispered. "No." Wild goose chase. "Darien," Solan's voice came as if from very far away. "We need to go home. All of us. And soon, before something else happens." * * * * * * * * * * * Malachite lay Mina down on her bed and brushed stray wisps of golden hair out of her eyes. "Go to sleep," he whispered as her eyes fluttered open. She nodded and drifted back in to the painless world of dreams. Malachite idly stared at the planets above. They had brought him home to Mina's arms, but he knew he didn't deserve to be there. He had given up that right the instant he lost his temper in the Silver Millennium. But now she needed him and he couldn't abandon her without Adam to take care of her. It wasn't right, it wouldn't be fair. It would be about as fair as Serena going in to a trance like the rest of them, slipping in to a coma and dying. But then that happened, now didn't it, Malachite? He leaned his head forward and let his own sorrow break free. Even in the end of the brainwashing, he had loved Mina, loved the Scouts and Darien. But he had forsaken them. Now he could make amends, but he would never be able to completely forgive himself. Not without Serena. Across town Raye clutched Jadeite's shirt and wept into his shoulder, occasionally banging her fist against the rock hard planes of his chest in frustration and sorrow. He let her, savoring each hard punch as retribution for being alive as they covered Serena with a sheet and rolled her away, downstairs to the morgue. He was alive, she was dead; he'd been given a second chance for a life with Raye, she would never lay eyes on Darien again. Tears of his own silently coursed down his cheeks. In the spare bedroom of the temple Ami lay curled on the bed, shaking. Zoisite lay beside her, his arms wrapped around her thin, trembling frame. "Ami," he whispered, "please, say something. Please cry, scream, something. Don't lock it in, don't let it rip you apart." She made no sound, just trembled and shook. Her eyes were wide and pupiless. Wrapping her in a blanket, Zoisite prepared to call the doctor for instructions on shock when suddenly she sat up and screamed. "SERENA!" Down the hall, Raye heard the scream and screamed herself in pain and fear. Serena had always been the one who had survived. She had always been the last to go down. What were they going to do without her? On a plane high above a black ocean Greg heard Ami's mental cry. He tensed and pulled some of her sorrow in to himself. He could feel the warm blanket cocooning her shivering body, her labored breathing might as well been his own, and smell the spicy candle wax scenting the air tickled his nose. Glancing across the aisle, the same could be said of Chad and Ken. Ken was hunched over, hiccuping and crying silently, his hands balling and opening as he dug his nails into his palms. Lita was in that position in the center of her living room. She had just given up her dinner and watched Nephrite clean it off the carpet as she ripped her slender hands to shreds with her nails. He watched her with real fear in his eyes. "Lita," he whispered, "do you want me to get the sedative the doctor prescribed for shock? It will calm you down enough to sleep." Part of him wished he had slipped it in her drink as Malachite had Mina earlier that evening. She was most likely passed out, the only safe thing to be when in the center of such emotional turbulence. Nephrite threw the filthy rag in to the sink and washed his hands. He bit back a cry of sorrow as Lita opened her hands and stared at the puffy welted things as if they were two dead pieces of wood rather than parts of her body. He wanted to cry for Serena, but right now Lita needed him. He scooped her up and lay her down on her bed, tucking her in. She looked at him with eyes too old for her face. "Give me the bottle." Nephrite shook his head. "One pill Lita. Not the bottle. You're strong, but I don't trust you right now with an entire bottle. One pill, take it or leave it." Her face stared at him; Lita was nowhere to be seen in her eyes. "I don't deserve to sleep, I deserve to die." He took one pill out and lay it on her tongue. She dry swallowed and tears leaked out of her eyes again. "No, Lita. You deserve to sleep."