************************************************************ Logging Started: 04/28/2001 at 1:34:45 ------------------------------------------------------------ Dark grey is the color of the clouds that hang in the sky, growing thick with impending rain. Moisture is scented in the air, and it's hard to see the sun through the heavy cloud quilt. During the night, nature's hand pokes a pin into the cloud cover, causing them to shed the first few drops of water towards the earth in a light drizzle. It's raining outside... something it rarely if ever did at Ootori, as you remember. Except for that one day, when the Castle itself seemed to weep over the shattered fragments of a certain golden locket... the rain falls in a constant drizzle against the windows of your apartment, beads of silver as the heavens pour forth. It's hard to tell, because of the way the sky's light is muffled, just what time it is, but a clock would reveal the time as approaching evening- about 5 or 6 PM. Nothing's on television except particularly banal talk shows; nothing's on the radio but particularly banal love songsand the usual empty rambles of obsessively cheerful DJ's. Juri has long given up on television and radio as sources of entertainment, though a soft song turned to the minimal amount of volume does seem to sift through the air of her apartment. She hardly notices it, though.. she's leaning against the frame of her window, watching the rain as she hand rests over a familiar sight.. now vacant of its usual resident along her collarbone.. her fingers gently grazing air as her eyes look unfocused into the dreary scenery. There's a knock at the door, three short raps, crisp and resonant against the soft patter of rain and mumble of vague song. Juri blinks.. her eyes swirling from their faint gray hue into their true bluegreen as she glances towards the door. With a curious sound escaping her throat she pushes away from the window towards the door, calling as she approaches, "Who is it?" "... It's Utena..." comes in from the other side of the door, a curious muffled quality to the voice. Perhaps simply because she's talking through an inch and a half of wood. Juri mmns and unhesitantly pulls open the door, swinging it back to rest her hand on the outer knob afterwards, "Ten'jou.. may I help you?" She looks down at the smaller girl, a quizzically quirked eyebrow betraying her curiosity. This is probably not a sight you were expecting to see.... not from Utena, anyway. The small girl stands in the hallway with her head bowed, an aura of defeat wrapped around her like a dark cloud. Those pink tresses shade her eyes from view,and instead of her Ootori uniform, she wears a simple knit sweater, and jeans. When she finally lifts her eyes, it's enough to take your breath away. You've seen those eyes before... those exact eyes. Every time you look in the mirror. Unfulfilled. Unrequited. Juri's eyes widen considerably as she partially drops her mask of disinterest. "...Ten'jou.", is all she says, though she backs up a few steps.. staring into those eyes.. marveling at the eerie sensation of seeing her own eyes on someone else. Especially Utena. The look doesn't seem to suit those bring blue gems.. "What's happened?", she immediately asks. Something had to have caused this drastic formation. Utena gives you a small smile. Flash of Shiori in that smile; fragile. "... Can I come in?" she asks softly. "I don't mean to disturb you." Juri's stature seems to waiver a moment, cracking under the strain of seeing at that smile.. but at the same moment she holds the door wide and nods, "Of course.. it's no bother." Her words are kind..but her tone is still rather unreadable. Utena steps in, quietly, her hands loose at her sides. She glances around for a moment, getting her bearings, and thinking how 'settled' Arisugawa-sempai's place looks, in comparison to her own; somehow, not surprised by that. "I wanted to say I was sorry about the other day, with you and Micky," she begins, her tone lukewarm, lacking either fear, fire, or pleasure. Juri slowly slides the door closed behind you.. her position neither comfortable nor awkward as she stands, listening to you. She nods slightly, shrugging.. "I'm sorry I left without giving the debate a chance. It's just difficult here to know what to do. Sometimes routine is all you have.. you made your point, but I still agree with what Miki-kun and I said." Utena says, "... It is difficult," Utena mirrors, her voice a thread of silk running over a chasm. She falls silent,struggling with her words; she's not used to...to going deep, to thinking, but sheer instinct brought her here, to you. Juri... Juri understands, doesn't she? About being left behind.... FInally, the girl simply blurts it out, all at once, almost breathless. "... HImemiya doesn't need me any more." Juri is silent as the truth of the matter comes out. She watches Utena.. looking at those eyes, the body language.. and though the girl shows it a bit differently, the message is the same - and quite familiar to Juri. A faint, hushed sigh can barely be heard before Juri questions further, "How did you come to this conclusion?" Utena sags another inch, visibly. "She told me... she said that she was done.. that she had her own free will back... that she was happy being that way, after I told her about Touga and Micky challenging me. She...I..." Her hands clench, unconsciously, still hanging beside her. "...I should be happy... I..I am happy but... it feels surreal to me and I feel... " She turns her head, breathing deeply. ".. like I've been cheated, somehow...it's just... if she doesn't need me...." And then her voice cracks, just enough... "... then I don't know what to do any more..." Juri's eyes visably soften.. in fact, her lips almost seem to thin, seconds away from a sympathetic smile before she replies, "It's not your fault that she came from a time where you had already freed her spirit.. you should be proud to know you were able to do that, because deep down you are the same as that Utena." She runs a hand along her collar, brushing along an invisable line around her neck, "Now you can focus on freeing yourself... From the game and those who run it. From yourself." Utena nods once, biting her lower lip under perfect white teeth. There are the beginnings of tears in her eyes but she's fighting them, not wanting to COMPLETELY collapse in front of the icy fencing club captain. Still, it's impossible not to see them. "... I... I -need- to duel, sempai." she says, once again blurting out her thoughts through a tangle of haze and fire in her head.. struggling to get her words out, so unfamiliar. "...I know you all seem to hate it, but.. I need it. I know I said I hated the duels and I, I do..but the ... it brings out something in me I can't touch in any other way... I feel so strong when I duel, I feel like my life has a purpose..." Her face tightens, then releases again; you sense a tremendous emotion in her, just barely in check. "... I'm not that damn person that everyone thinks I am!" Almost slipping...almost. She catches her breath. You can almost hear it under her words, the refrain in a high voice: what about me? what about me? Don't I get to be saved, too? Juri's eyes slide a little narrowers as she listens to you struggling with your words. You have so much to say in those few snips of sentences, and she hears it all. She closes her eyes at your last words and nods faintly, "Hai, Ten'jou.. you're right. We're unfair to continue to compare you to others.." For this next part she looks back up.. a look of complete understanding in her eyes. It may have been different for her.. she had no miracle power, no Dios entering her body.. but she had something similar take over her during duels. Even in practice.. it was how she worked out her aggression and in the end it was during a duel that she found her 'salvation' of sorts. She of all people would appreciated what you are saying and she agrees with a simple reply, "Then duel. Duel for you and no one else." yourself not you Utena murmurs, ".. but I can't duel without a Bride... I. " She doesn't say it, but you can hear it as plainly as if she did: no one cares about me. It's about HImemiya, always about Himemiya, always about owning the bride. Yet both of her hanging duels -are- really about her.. about what she wants, and her reasons for acting... "... I don't want to be responsible for making others suffer... but if I can't duel, then I..." Have no purpose. Can't become a prince. Perhaps in this way, the Game has already caught her... giving her the hope of making her childhood dream a reality.... Juri waves her hand gracefully through the air, as if brushing the subject away, "It has nothing to do with the Bride anymore. The Bride is simply a position to fill.. someone to pull a sword.. duelling for ownership of a person was always stupid." Idly her hand sweeps back to herself, above her chest, "Being just a matter of ceremony, anyone could be the Bride. The rules are changing, Ten'jou." Utena looks up, bewildered. "... I don't understand. I thought... Himemiya has the sword, right? That's why everyone wanted her....?" Utena asks, ".. the.. special sword, the power...?" Juri remembers your time and space status and nods, "Ah.. no. Everyone has a sword within them with its own power. Not as strong as Dios', but.." She ponders a moment before admitting, "I'm not sure where the Sword of Dios lies, now.. I doubt the freed Himemiya would carry it, but I can't be sure." She shrugs lightly, "For all we know, it could be within you.. at one time it was for the Ten'jou of my time." Utena says, "..h... how could that be?" Utena's just flabbergasted now, completely blown away; crystal blue eyes huge. "... I.. I'm not the Rose Bride..." Oh, now she's confused and showing a hint of fear; strange wild fear, primal fear, the revulsion of a prince who was told he was secretly a princess all along... "How could that be?" Yet, there's the curiosity too, a hint of it.. all the questions reigniting in the young woman's mind. "I wish someone could EXPLAIN all this to me!" she cries, frustrated. Juri glances at you hesitantly.. unsure if she wants to put up with explaining everything to you only to have you forget it once more.. so she will choose her words carefully until she determines you can handle it. She points one hand towards the chairs in her living area.. two comfortable, thin ones side by side.. and takes a seat herself, "I'll try and tell you what I can, Ten'jou." Utena folds herself into the chair, resting her elbows over her knees, pink hair trailing loose over her shoulders and dangling in curls in the air. She looks at you, with a darkly curious expression, speaking of a kind of morbid curiosity. Juri leans back slightly, though her back is still stiff and her legs naturally cross elegantly, "The sword was actually my Ten'jou's personal blade. It was the Victor's sword and begun use during the final duels after she defeated all of the council members. It seemed to have its own powerful energy, though.. you may find you like your own sword better than the sword of Dios. They always feel more natural.. though, I don't have any experience with the Dios sword to know, myself." The last words almost seem bitter momentarily.. and she pauses, watching you for any questions you may have.. knowing you probably have countless amounts, but trusts you to not waste her time with frivilous ones. Utena simply nods her head once.. her eyes seem focused, not blank, as she attentively considers. "..My own sword," she whispers. "... No offense, I just have a hard time imagining... I... so I did beat everyone, as far as you know, and, it didn't stop." This last isn't a question, it's stated as fact. She meets your gaze with her eyes, hungry for knowledge, and agonized. "... why is everyone trying to protect me, sempai? What did I -do-?" Juri nods lightly, "Hai.. at one point or another you defeated the council. It was during a second round of duels that I came here; after my second loss." She ponders your second question a little longer, not sure quite how to answer.. trying to pick comments carefully, "..you were very innocent and are even more so now. I assume those council members who saw their path through to their second duel are trying to protect you from what's controlling the game." Utena turns her head away, linking her fingers, looking at her signet as her hands hang off her knees. "The End of the World. Everyone's mentioned it at least once." she says, breathing out. "Touga said he went to the End of the World and threw himself off. Miki said something about it too... and I want to think I heard you say it as well." Her next question comes out shockingly naive, as she turns her face back to you with that complete innocent ignorance.. the innocence that burns. "Why?" Juri's eyes are forced closed, to block out that look a moment as she inhales deeply.. taking the chance, "The Ends of the World was Himemiya's brother, the Dean. He was dark and delusional.. he sent the council the letters explaining the plan of the game.. and I for one was disgusted by him. I'm not sure what all he's capable of.. but his obsession was sickening. I can't really explain much else.." Utena says, "... is this the .. Miki mentioned someone named Akio-san.. the name I didn't recognize at the time, as if it was someone I should know. Is he...? I mean..." she rubs the back of her neck, ".. how did you find all this out? What little I knew... I thought it was supposed to be a secret.." Juri says, "Hai, his name was Akio-san. Ootori Akio, he took his fiancee's last name." Asked of her involvement with the Ends of the World she seems to become even more rigid than before.. glancing off to the side as she mutters, "An old friend introduced me to him.. the eve of my second duel." Utena says, "Ootori Akio..." she whispers, and then manages a dark grin laced with a touch of sarcasm. "Well, maybe you should tell me what he looks like so I'll avoid him here...? I bet that'd make you guys all feel better." That's a bit of the regular Utena- blunt as a hammer, right to the point. Juri's own lips curve slightly on one side.. glad to see a bit of the true Utena again.. and even more pleased that she hasn't blanked out on her, yet, "Well.. from what I remember.. he had pale lavender hair. Long and pulled back in a ponytail. Dark skinned like Himemiya, lean with an angled face and broad shoulders. When I saw him he was dressed as Dios.. and he drove a red convertible." Juri smirks, adding, "Though.. as Dean he normally wore a red dress shirt and violet tie.. black slacks." Always a stickler for detail. Utena...ghhs. It's not exactly the sound she makes, more of an audible sudden sucking of her breath, but...close enough for the purpose of description. She suddenly looks intensely uncomfortable. "... a red convertible," she echoes, her thoughts turned inward. "... that can't be a coincidence..." Juri blinks.. in her mind, the image of the key Utena has flashing in her mind.. and her smirk fades, "What, Ten'jou?" Utena says, "... a man in a red car drove up to the curb a few days ago while I was with some friends... he rolled down his window and asked me about the keys I had. I thought it was pretty odd that he could see them from the street... I guess his eyes must be pretty good. But he had lavender hair.... I can't remember his face too well for some reason... but, he definitely had lavender hair, and dark skin... " She squirms a bit, remembering that she thought that man might have been her prince.. from the strong tone of his voice, and the way he called her 'milady'... Juri narrows her eyes... and frowns, "That is most deffinitely not a coincidence, Ten'jou." With a sigh she crosses her hands in her lap, glancing at her signet, "I assumed he had something to do with the resurgence of duels.. but now it's settled. I wonder if Kiryuu-san has been in contact with him.." She adds with a haughty tone, "Touga was always the closest to the Dean.." She glances up after a moment, though, inquiring again about the tiny object in your possession, "You still have the key don't you?" Utena nods once. "... I was going to give it to Himemiya, she said she'd take care of it for me, but I keep forgetting to leave it for her." She fishes the small, like-new silver key from her pocket, the item swinging about, surface flashing with each movement. She stares at it for a moment, then looks at you seriously. ".. should I.. not give it to her?" The words are hard to ask; Utena trusts Himemiya... or, well, she trusted the HImemiya she knew. This strange, strong Himemiya that doesn't need her... Juri has never trusted Himemiya.. and is only tentatively doing so, now. "I suppose not.. but also make sure to keep it out of Akio's hands. He's the last person we need with a key.. to anything." Utena nods once, her expression that of a child handed a grave responsibility. She slips the key back into her pocket, though wondering aloud, "I wonder what it goes to. Some car, I suppose.. do you think it goes to his convertible? He said it was a key that he lost... that guy, if it was Akio..." All said with little knowledge of the implication. After all, this Utena has never yet ridden in the Akio Car... never been to that hotel room.. never seen her personal end of the world... not yet. Juri nods as you speak, interjecting, "It's the only logical answer. The Dean had a red convertible as well.. there are too many similarities for none of this to mean something. We need to be careful, Ten'jou.. who knows what plans may be under way.." That they have no power to stop as of yet. Utena frowns. "I'm not part of any plan," she insists, her voice soft, subtly dangerous. "But all of this started because of Touga's challenging me.... I think I need to talk to him." Utena says, "If you say he's involved.. I want to know how, and why." Juri gives you a quiet, inquisitive look at your tone before she admits, "I have no proof that Kiryuu would be involved with the Dean now.. I'm speaking from past history only. I haven't even seen the Seitokaichou.. though I should." She seriously does.. at this point her unspoken hope is that the unanswered questions could be solved through him. Of course, never directly.. but she's generally good an interpreting his damn riddles. Utena says, "I don't have to be a genius like Micky to add up two and two and get four. Touga said he went to the end of the world and threw himself off. You say he's involved with it. I've seen him, I can find him, and I can make him talk to me." There's an unexpected note of anger- hurt, and betrayal- in Utena's voice, one that hasn't ever quite come up in regards to him in your memories. Certainly, he burned her repeatedly, the Utena you knew, but there's a certain additional passion in this Utena's voice suggesting there are even -more- wounds, wound that run deeper still under her skin. . o O ( How could he do this to -me-? ) Juri blinks.. taken aback by your sudden vehmence on the subject.. but she doesn't show it. Instead she takes that observation for later use and simply nods, "Mmn.. so ka." An idle hand rests beside her empty tea cup, brushing the china with her finger. Utena closes her eyes, perhaps catching a hint of her own anger, and slumping back in her chair, rubbing her brow softly. "It's just..." She looks up at you, those deep and guileless blue eyes taking in yours for a moment, as if weighing some decision. "... Nobody knows this; I probably shouldn't tell you either, really. But... I knew Touga before I came to Ootori." Juri is forced to reveal a bit of curiousity as an amber eyebrow rises noticeably, "Is that so..?" She doesn't press you on with words, but her body language says it all. Her finger stops moving by the cup and her body stiffens slightly. How could you know him..? Utena looks into her own cup, held once more in her lap, the half-drained fluid dark and motionless. Utena says in a soft dull monotone, "About a year and a half or so before I transferred to Ootori, I met Touga. It's funny that I can't remember exactly how it happened now, but it was raining, I think, and I was pretty soaked. When I looked up, there was a hand reaching over me with an umbrella, and it was attached to his arm. We went into a cafe to avoid the rain, bought some tea, and we ended up talking. I guess, after that, we found we had some things in common, and became friends... more than friends. I mean, we were both sort of young, so it wasn't anything really touchyfeely, but... it was special, you know? He became pretty important to me. But.. after a while... his attitude started getting on my nerves. He kept treating me like this precious, breakable thing. He kept trying to get between me and my troubles. It got bad enough that... eventually... well, I broke it off. I didn't want to be some precious little princess, put on a pedestal and then forgotten about. I wanted to be a prince, and being with Touga.. just drove home how different we felt about each other. It wasn't that I didn't still care for him, we just...couldn't be, you know? Then, I ended up transferring to Ootori, and there he was again, anyway..." Juri's eyes widen considerably. She had no clue about any of this and for perhaps once in her life she says exactly what she's thinking, "I had no idea.." This puts many things in a perspective she never knew to have before. Obviously the Touga she knew always looked at Utena as a formidable opponent and something to be acquired - since she worked so hard not to be. But a previous relationship? She never would have guessed.. though it actually makes more sense than she expected. Utena nods, once. "I think..we both wanted it to be that way. We never said a word about it to each other... not ever. We just went on as if we were starting over.. but... the truth is, it's there.. it was there once, at least." Utena breathes out, the soft blue eyes translucent; showing the mourning in the depths of her for lost family, lost love... no wonder she clings to the duels for a sense of purpose... it seems the perfect, untroubled water of her soul goes deeper than anyone could ever have guessed. "But if you're telling me the truth, maybe he started this duel by playing on those old feelings, and if he's just doing it to serve some creepy guy's purposes.... " Juri removes her hand from her cup, placing it with the other in her lap. "Then it's indeed worth speaking to him about. He may be the key to understanding the reason for this, after all." She's not sure if she'd chalk it all up to Kiryuu's doing, but there's possibly more to his purpose than she thought. Utena nods. "I'm going to. I won't let him get away with using our history to make things go his way..." She laughs, but it's almost more of a sob. "That's why we broke up in the first place. But... I guess no matter what, the duels are going to happen...and you said there was a way someone else could fill in for the Bride in the duel? But.... without MAKING them into the Bride? If he wants to fight me, I'll fight him, but I think this is turning into something pretty personal." Juri mmns, nodding curtly, "If the duel was not set up for the ownership of a Bride, then the purpose of the Bride would only be to remove the sword. The appointed person wouldn't be held to any further obligations." She watches you for a moment.. and seems to look at you with a slightly broadened view. "It's better it be personal, though.. if all he wants to do is settle old grudges, at least in the end it shouldn't involve the rest of us and it should be taken care of quickly." She pauses and comments softly, "But I seriously doubt that's all there is to it, Ten'jou-san." Utena manages a smile. "I guess I'm still looking at it pretty naively... it just seems.. in the end, both Miki and Touga are challenging -me-. It wasn't like that, before. If that's the case, then it wouldn't be right for me to duel with a Bride anyway. But...I...well.." She pinkens a bit, shrugging her shoulders and rubbing the side of her head embarrassedly,mussing a few pink locks, "... I don't really have the first clue how to get at this sword or whatever..." Juri smirks faintly.. at the details of your movements and expressions. The innocence you exude is unbearable sometimes. "Well, it's possible to remove your own sword, but the process isn't really suitable for the Arena." Glancing over you she shrugs her shoulders in a quick, apathetic gesture, "I have nothing to do with either duel, but if you feel uncomfortable using Himemiya, I could preform the rite." Utena simply blinks, once, lifting her head, eyes betraying her surprise. "... Sempai..." she breathes. "... you don't -have- to..." Juri almost looks offended as she retorts, "Well certainly I don't have to." Waving the situation off casually, "I wouldn't offer if I didn't mind. Anything to help get this settled or at least finally begun." She looks pointedly at your ocean blue eyes, waiting calmly for an answer. Utena thinks this over for a few moments, and then, finally, nods her head. "It'd be good to have someone who isn't really involved, as long as doing this doesn't somehow make you the new Rose Bride, just because I was the last known Victor." Her voice is firm on that point. "I'm not going to just swap one person for another like some kind of disposable object- it was bad enough as it was. But if you're sure that it won't somehow do that to you... then yeah, I guess I'd be pretty honored to have you do that for me, sempai." Juri smirks faintly, "Akio or no, nothing could tie me that helplessly to the cursed game. From what I've seen it will do nothing of the sort to have me stand in. These duels are about you." With that.. she nods, sitting up a little taller, "Like I said, anything to get this going." Though.. 'honored' was the best word to use in that place, so a slimmer of a smile that may be visable is for you. Utena returns the smile; her own wider and calmer, as some of her doubts and uncertainties have been blasted back by a renewed sense of purpose. She senses your straightening as a sort of dismissive gesture, and pushes up from her chair, standing and bowing politely before you- as a courtier might bow to an empress. "I'm all for that," she nods quickly. "I'm glad I came to talk to you first, sempai, instead of just sitting around feeling sorry for myself. You really helped me out today." Juri's faint smile curves at one edge as she nods, "Nothing is solved with self- pity." Ah.. a hint of the Juri you never knew lies in those words.. a liberated Juri who may once have said those words in your time, but never with as much belief behind them, "We'll get this settled, Ten'jou." She makes no move to stand and show you to the door.. but she acknowledges your intentions, "Until then, goodnight.." and she adds in her usual tone, though with unexpected candor, "And try not to get yourself challenged to anymore duels." Utena laughs. "Well, if you're planning to challenge me, you'd better tell me right now. My dance card's almost punched through. I think it's just you and Saionji that haven't, unless Himemiya's got some ideas she's going to duel, too..." She shakes her head, wryly. "It's probably a good thing Saionji isn't even here." She lifts a hand, to wave, and makes her way to the door, opening it, stepping into the hall and closing it gently behind herself. Though you can't see it... out in the hall, she leans against the outside of the wall, and exhales a long breath... Juri smirks after you.. watching the last of your hair disappear before the door closes. Shaking her head lightly she runs a hand over her eyes.. what is she getting herself into? Intaking a breath she stands and collects the teacups to take the kitchen.. At least she'll be nearby in the duels to see how all of this will play out.. it seems to her that reality's more confusing than the dream of Ootori ever was.