************************************************************ Logging Started: 05/12/2001 at 15:26:38 ------------------------------------------------------------ Utena glances about as she steps in, with her best friend in tow. A quick look through the place and she exhales. "I guess Pearl's not in today..." She shrugs slightly, and turns back to her friend. "Well, it just means we have to actually pay today... I'm glad you came by. I was starting to -wonder-..." She goes and claims a table, pulling out the first chair for you with a regal little flourish. My, she's in a good mood! Wakaba chuckles a little softly, a rosy tint to her cheeks as the chair is pulled out for her, and plops herself down with about as much grace as.. well anyway. Cough. "Just our luck ne Utena?" She grins, though does look a bit shame-faced at the latter comment. Raising one hand to rub at th back of her neck, "Yeah I know I.. kind of haven't been around much lately have I?" Then clapping her hands together in front of her face, she closes one eye to peer at you much like a hound dog might for chewing on its master's slipper, "I'm sorry! Can you ever forgive me?" Utena says, "We're all trying to settle in.." Utena shakes her head at you, and puts her hands on her hips, teasingly. "Well, I just don't know... I mean, you're -supposed- to be undyingly devoted to ME..." She laughs. "Ignoring all that, what do you want? I'll treat and go order, you just make yourself comfy." Wakaba blushes sheepishly, "I am I am! In fact I built a shrine to you in my room!" From the grin on her face, she's obviously joking - and she admits that a moment later, "Well not really.. but I could!" SHe's got enough pictures of you for it! Ah well. "Mm, I'll have some mint tea, and.. let's get those little cream puffs there." n.n Utena bows deeply at the waist, with her arm folded across her stomach. "Just a moment, ojousama." She straightens, grinning widely, and moves over to place an order- herself? Mm...let's go decadent- the death by chocolate (she can split it with the genki one) and a mochachino. Damn this world, it's introduced her to coffee and the flavors are so -good-! Returning with everything, she sets the plates and cups and such down, and takes up her own chair across the small marble table from you, stirring her drink with a small wooden stick. "I guess we've got a lot to catch up on... should I go first or do you want to?" Coffee? That'll stunt your growth! Moving on. Taking her cup of tea, Wakaba weighs her thoughts heavily. One the one hand, she knows you don't like Saionji - but on the other, you ARE her best friend, and she honestly doesn't like keeping such special things secret. On the other hand.. well she has only two hands, but.. on the other hand anyway, if she tells, she won't have a secret anymore, and then she'll just be normal Wakaba again. "Um.." She stalls a little, weighing her decision as she sips her tea. Okay. Bite the bullet, Genki! "I will." Utena notices your sudden fidgeting and hmms softly over the edge of her cup, watching you with a mild expression. She sets the cup down, looking at you with real concern and asking gently, "Is something wrong, Wakaba?" Wakaba says, "What? No! Nono!" Wakaba shakes her head, waving a hand dismissively, quick to reassure. "Nothing's wrong.. nothing at all, Utena!" Phew. No need to worry her friend with something as silly as that, right? .. Right. "Mm.. where to start.." She murmurs, mostly to herself. How far back does she go? "You remember that evening that you and Juri-sempai went to dinner here?" Way way way WAAAAY back when? Think hard now. n.n Utena mms, and nods once, slipping her fork sideways through the tip of the Death By Chocolate, taking a bite and closing her eyes when the lovely taste strikes her tongue. "Yeah... she needed to talk to me. Sorry that I left you out there like that..." Wakaba shakes her head, "No no, it's all right, really. I had a nice conversation with Dagger-san.." And showed off her Saionji-bear. n.n Popping one of the cream puffs into her mouth, she munches lightly on the delicacy, and then washes it down with another sip of tea. "Anyway - on my way home I .. ran into someone." Slowly setting the cup down and looking up to you again, "Saionji-san." Utena-coughs!- and almost chokes on her mochachino. ".. He's HERE?" she blurts, quickly grabbing a napkin to cover her mouth as she coughs more, having burned her throat a bit on the sudden choke. "..." Wakaba says, "Utena-!" Wakaba half jumps out of her seat at the reaction, settling for leaning over slightly with her hand on your shoulder. Erm. Well that was the gentlest she could break it to you wasn't it? "Are you okay..?" Utena groans softly but nods as she drops her hand away, wiping her napkin quickly along her lips and croaking, ".... I think I burned myself..." She takes a bit of water real fast and sits back, with a sigh. "Should have figured HE would have shown up here too.. everyone ELSE did." She grumbles faintly. Wakaba frowns a bit, and sits back in her chair with a quiet sigh, tracing a finger along the rim of the cup. o O ( Maybe I shouldn't have told her.. no, she would have found out eventually.. ) Probably. Utena rubs her throat slightly, rasping, "Anyway.. sorry about that, I was just surprised.. didn't mean to interrupt..." ' Wakaba ahems, looking up again, "That's okay - I was surprised too when I saw him." So surprised her heart stopped beating for a second. Smiling faintly, the slightest blush surfaces as she continues talking, "I saw him on the park bench, feeding the pigeons.. he was just as I remembered him. And you remember how he just seemed to disappear off the face of the earth? And all those rumors that he'd been kicked off the Student Council? Saionji-sama told me they were true.. but he didn't say why, and I didn't want to pry." Now comes the hard part. "..Anyway.. he didn't have anywhere to stay, and he had no way to support himself.. no job, no money.. so... so I offered to let him stay at my old apartment with me." Okay, there's the bomb; it has been dropped. Now Wakaba looks up to see how you take it. And hopefully you don't burn yourself or choke to death again. Half holding her breath. Utena manages not to choke herself again, but does tilt her head, pull on her earlobe and scratch the side of her nose with her forefinger, clearly in 'Utena's thinking about how to phrase this delicately' mode. She looks back across the table to you, toying with a bit of her chocolate, and asking, "Is he still obsessing over Himemiya?" Wakaba shakes her head, though not without a slight twitch of her eyebrow. Why would he obsess over someone who doesn't .. no, nevermind. "I don't know.. he hasn't mentioned her since I've seen him." Utena says, "... well, I guess this answers the question of whether he was here or not..." Utena cuts away a piece of Death and offers it to you across the table. "So you've been living with Saionji, huh... Man, I don't envy -you- one bit, Wakaba. I know you're kinda sweet on him, but... *I* couldn't do it, that's for sure." Wakaba accepts the offered delicacy with a smile. She pauses to spear a little bit of the cake before replying to that, "That's because you don't know him the way I do, Utena!" Wakaba replies cheerfully, "He's .. he's really sweet and kind.. I mean, the way he was acting before wasn't the real him. He even does the cooking and cleaning when I'm out." n.n Utena says, "Don't -know- him... I guess not. The Saionji I know beats up girls, especially if they don't do what he wants." She drops back in her chair, sipping at her coffee slowly. "I've seen him hit Himemiya so hard she fell to the ground, and he's beat the crap out of me too. " Wakaba lifts the half full cup of tea to her lips and is about to take another sip when the atom bomb hits. Big brown eyes blink once, widening in ..shock, and her fingers go slack, which causes the cup of tea to clatter onto the table, spilling before the cup rolls right on off the edge to break into a bajillion pieces on the floor. "..." If.. anyone else had said that to her, Wakaba wouldn't believe them. Even now she doesn't want to believe it, but it's her best friend - who would never lie to her or intentionally hurt her. "...w..what?" She slowly shakes her head, a shakey smile that looks more sick than sincere crawling across her face. "...U..Utena that.. that isn't funny!" It -is- a joke.. right? Please tell her it's a joke..? Utena blinks for a moment, totally taken by surprise at your reaction, as if she didn't connect her words with the result. As she gasps! and tries, without success, to rescue the tea cup before it breaks, she runs her words back in her head and winces. . o O ( Slick, Utena. REAL slick. ) She quickly moves with her napkin to help clean up the spill and sighs, "... I probably REALLY shouldn't have told you that, but... it's not a joke, Wakaba. I can't see how anyone could have any kind feelings for that guy. I didn't want to tell you, even after some of the things he said to me in the kendo hall..." She sweeps up the cup bits and goes to apologize at the counter- and get a replacement, which she brings to you. Easing back into her seat she rubs her forehead, looking pained. "That guy's a creep. You remember when your love letter ended up on the board, and it made you cry? Well, I found out who put it there. HE did, Wakaba. He thought it was funny, a big joke. He said that it was his and he had the RIGHT to do whatever he wanted with it." By the time you've cleaned up the spilled tea and broken pieces of teacup, Wakaba's recovered her senses - though finding out that her best friend was beaten by the man she 'loves' is a heavy blow alone. ".. it.. it was him..?" She shakes her head again, almost wildly, "No.. that can't be true! Saionji wouldn't..." She can't even finish that statement. Utena says, ".. I think I need to show you something." Utena sighs. She can't explain what happened without explaining everything- the duels, the rose bride... all of it. Snatching a final bite of chocolate, she pushes back from her chair and offers her hand to you. Wakaba frowns slightly, but she does get to her feet, taking your hand. "..Show me..? What is it Utena..?" Wakaba glances around, almost expecting to see hidden cameras, though she's certain she won't be seeing any. o O ( I can't believe it.. ) Utena closes her fingers around your hand and tugs you lightly along with her, outside. School Building Rooftop(#4504RC) A roof. What did you expect? The planet Mars? Then again, this school is so bizarre that you wouldn't be surprised to find yourself in another dimesion, right? From up here you can see your house, too! The school might have only two floors, but it looks like you're a hundred feet above the city! Is this some sort of spatial anomaly? Optical illusion? Special "deep canvas" visual animation effect? Background matte artist's oversight? Who can say? The roof itself looks like a bizarre mosaic of cement, ceramic, asphalt and even wood boards. Pretty bizzare. If you had a portable TV, you could probably get the European channels. It's really high! [Exits : Floating (S)taircase, and (D)ownstairs ] [Things : None ] Wakaba follows you all the way to the school, finding the destination...odd to say the least. "Utena..what are we doing here?" What was so important at the school? Utena pauses for breath for a moment, on the rooftop.. glancing around as if looking for something very specific. As you get your breath back too, you can see.something sort of misty hanging in the air- you wouldn't have seen it at first. A suggestion of a stairwell? Utena turns her head toward you. "I'm going to show you something that.... me, and the Council, have known about for a while now. I can't explain what happened between me and Saionji without doing this. It's pretty surreal, though..." Wakaba studies your face for a moment, and then glances around to see where you were looking before. "..surreal --" Blink. Wait.. is that.. "...Utena..? Am I seeing things or.. do you see that too?" With the hand not holding yours, she points towards that misty sort of distortion in the air. Utena smiles faintly. "You're not seeing things, Wakaba." She steps forward toward the edge of the roof, moving up onto the rim, facing the misty stairwell. Then she raises her foot as if to step..but that's going to mean she'll step off the roof, won't it? Ack! But her foot comes down on... blank air? And the very moment it does, the stairwell becomes a solid thing, visible for quite some ways until it disappears to a distant point far above... What, you dragged her to school so you could walk off of a rooftop? Wakaba starts to grab for your hand the moment you step, "Utena -!!" ...of course her protest dies in her throat when .. you don't fall. And not only that, but.. a very solid looking stairwell just .. appears. Taking a step back herself, she watches you a moment, and then prods the staircase. Just in case it disappears. Is this thing safe to walk on? As long as you don't think about it too hard. But Utena has both feet on it now, and is standing on something that MUST be solid, because she's off the roof entirely. She turns to you with a calm smile. "Don't worry. I've been up this thing a bunch of times. I was kinda unsure about it at first, too." Seems solid enough! Feels like cool white marble. Wakaba puts faith in that calm smile, stepping up onto the first step hesitantly, squeezing her eyes shut and clearly expecting the staircase to poof on her. When it doesn't, she opens her eyes again, and catches herself before she looks down. Down is a bad idea. She looks up towards you, "You've been up this thing before.. what is it?" Wakaba asks, starting to walk up the staircase behind you. Utena says, "It's just the stairwell. This isn't the weirdest thing you'll see." Utena says, taking her time up the stairs. Normally she'd move faster, but there are a LOT of stairs and Wakaba isn't used to these like she is now. "I'm not sure why it gets all misty like that, except I think that it's supposed to hide the thing from people who aren't supposed to see it, or something. It's just one more weird thing about this stuff..." She keeps her hand in yours, so that if you feel scared you can grab onto her. "I didn't tell you about this before because.. well, things were different. But we're in a new world now. After you left that afternoon, I went and got in Saionji's face about the letter. He was acting so cavalierly, I grabbed one of the shinai in the kendo room and challenged him to a duel." Wakaba is grateful for that hand in hers, since she tightens her grip on it. "This.. thing was back in our world? In Ootori..?" She can hardly believe it. She isn't sure she'd have believed you even if you had told her back then, to be honest. Not if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes. Remaining silent, since she'll need her breath for the climb, though her mind is whirling with thoughts. Utena says, "Yeah... it looked a little different..." She points to the tower on the right. "That wasn't there before, and the gate wasn't closed ... I guess whatever creates this thing made some changes when it showed up here." Just for a moment, she realizes just how deeply entangled in all this her life has become- how incomprehensible this must be to an outsider... Touga was right, after all. "You know that forbidden forest at the back of the campus? The entrance to this place was hidden inside the wood." She pulls you with her to the left, stopping in front of the gate, resting her feet casually on a large smooth black stone set in the stair. The gate before the two girls begins to rumble heavily, sounds of heavy gears moving, and begins to widen, sliding open... It's like a really weird dream. A nightmare.. discovering the man she mooned over from afar had beaten her best friend and Himemiya both; that he was responsible for putting her love letter on the board and humiliating her. She isn't sure what to think right now; she's .. just taking things in on automatic at the moment, not even close to understanding the meaning - but this is all a terrible dream and she's sure she'll wake any minute now. Until then, she'll just ride it out. "In that forest? You're kidding -- we would have seen soemthing like this wouldn't we..?" Following you into the arena, Wakaba is.. once againat a loss of words for a moment, staring in slack-jawed amazement. "An..an arena?" This is all so weird, "....and there's a floating castle.." Why isn't it falling? Utena wonders if she's made a mistake, now... maybe this is why we're not supposed to reveal the mechanics of the duel to noncombatants. But that's ridiculous, isn't it? Wakaba's no different than Utena herself, right? There's nothing -special- about Utena that makes this make any more sense to her. In fact, most of the time, she's just as confused about things as Wakaba is now.. it's just that she's come to take the duel trappings for granted. "Here... I think you better sit down." She does so herself, just folding up on her legs right there on the center of the Arena floor, feeling the castle's warm sunshine-light falling on her shoulders. "This might take a while." Wakaba gladly sits down - folding her legs beneath her as she sits on the floor in lotus position. Still trying to grasp the concept of this .. this entire place having been in Ootori, with no one but you and those in the Student Council knowing anything about it. "Something like this... you'd think we'd have seen.." She shakes her head, turning her attention to you again. No mistake, no - she'll be hurt and confused when everything comes to light - but she'll be glad to know the truth at least.. eventually.. won't she? Utena says, "You weren't supposed to see it, " Utena says softly, tilting her head back and shielding her eyes to gaze for a moment on the turrets of the castle. "When I came up here for the first time, Saionji told me that castle was not necessarily really there... I still don't really understand a lot of this either. But... I didn't bring you up here to scare the hell out of you.. I just needed you to see this so you could understand why I said what I said." She takes in a long breath, then leans back her body, bracing her arms behind her, hands flat on the floor. "I didn't know about this place either, until I challenged Saionji to that duel. I wanted to avenge your honor, because I thought what he did was completely rotten. But then... he showed me that he had this same ring that I wear..." She raises her hand to show you the signet. "And, I guess, when I challenged him to a duel, although *I* meant in the kendo hall, HE thought I meant HERE." Wakaba nods quickly; she knows you didn't bring her here to scare her. She isn't scared - she would be if she were alone, but you're here. So it's all okay. She glances around again, then up at the castle, mentally shuddering and shaking her head a bit. She can't quite get that idea of the castle falling and squishing them both out of her head. As you get more comfortable and speak, she shifts as well, stretching her legs out at first, and then pulling them up to her chest so she can wrap her arms around her legs, and rest her chin on her knees. Her gaze goes to the signet ring, brows furrowing a bit. She'd never noticed the ring on his hand before, honestly, but .. she was rarely looking at his hands. Though a small smile surfaces, some part of her thoughts happy that her friend would have fought to avenge her honor, Wakaba doesn't say anything just yet - there realy isn't a need. She only gives a slow nod of understanding.. go on. Utena says, "Well, I didn't know anything about this, so I brought a shinai up here... As it turned out.. -he- brought a real sword, that katana of his. I was pretty surprised when I saw Himemiya up here too, wearing a weird red dress... I had no idea what the hell was going on. Himemiya comes over to me, and tells me the rules of the game. When she wishes me luck, Saionji hauls off and smacks her across the face. HARD. He was shouting something about how it was 'inappropriate' for her to say that, and I didn't know what it meant then. You know, how those two were always together on campus? Well, he smacked her around a LOT. I don't know if you ever saw that..." She exhales. "One time it was right outside the greenhouse, and Touga stopped him. Anyway... so he sends her flying across the floor here, and of course, I'm not gonna sit still for that. But... if you can imagine a duel between someone with a real, sharp, metal katana and a wooden dull shinai.. that was our fight. I couldn't match him... and at one point, he kicks me, right here, in the stomach." She pushes up her jacket slightly, baring her abdomen, rubbing a particular spot. Questions abound now; but Wakaba doesn't voice them. Instead she sucks in a breath at the spot indicated, her arms tightening around her legs. "...my god..Utena.." She'd no idea.. she didn't know that Saionji had hit Himemiya either - even for all her jealousy towards the other girl for being the object of Saionji's obsession, Wakaba doesn't think she deserved to be hit. Why? Why would Saionji hit her? Why would he duel you when he knew you didn't have a real sword..? Placing one hand against her mouth as if to stay the flood of questions that come to mind, she nods again, swallowing the lump in her throat back. Utena says, "Anyway, I managed to beat him, eventually, by stupid luck." She make a space with her hands, a small space of about seven inches. "You know how long a shinai is, right? THIS is how much I had left to fight with by the end. I lucked out and won. He fell to his knees, like it was the end of his whole world. When I get downstairs again, all I want to do is go back to my dorm and sleep, but Himemiya crosses my path, and tells me that she's my 'flower' now because I won the fight. The thing is... the duel game isn't just about duelling. Himemiya was... the -prize-, like some horrible living UFO catcher doll that gets passed around. They called her the "Rose Bride." Whoever wins the duel against the victor, the person that has control of her at the time, becomes the 'engaged', to the Bride." She shakes her head. "Such a stupid situation..." Utena says, "Saionji.. before I duelled him, was the Victor. And he thought he OWNED Himemiya... owned her body and soul." Wakaba swallows this new piece of information with a bit.. more of difficulty. It is hard to take in. Hard to want to believe, when your entire world is centered on something completely different - and then someone removes the veil from your face and you're actally able to see the truth for th first time. Sure, Wakaba doesn't -want- to see or believe.. but really, who's more likely to believe? Her best friend, who she's known the longest - or Saionji, who she loves - or thought she loved? No contest - Utena all the way. Himemiya.. Wakaba was jealous of her, but it's obvious that she misjudged the girl. No wonder she was so 'weird'.. if Wakaba was in a position like that, she'd be pretty weird too. And Wakaba starts to say something - but just can't bring herself to do it. Utena falls silent for the moment, catching her breath, her eyes seeming to be caught in her own memories. How tangled this all is... if you want to ask questions, now would probably be a good time. She hasn't even gotten into the SECOND duel yet, when Saionji came back for his rematch... No, Utena thinks, she would be really happy if Saionji never appeared in the Arena again. And it couldn't do Himemiya any good either... Gladly. But what question to ask first? Most importantly - what questions could she ask that you'd actually be able to answer? Wakaba watches you for a moment, and then glances down to her feet. "How long .. how long have you been having to .. to duel?" She frowns a bit, ".. this is all so .." She grins weakly, "You weren't kidding when you said it was all surreal... it .. it seems like something out of a really bad fantasy novel... but it's all real isn't it?" Utena nods once, seriously. "I guess, well, before I came here I'd duelled...." She pauses to mentally count, "four times. Saionji twice, Micky once and Arisugawa-sempai once. So I haven't been doing this too long either." Wakaba says, "Micky and Juri-sempai too..?" Who else ..? Wakaba frowns then, catching on to that again, "Wait.. twice? You only mentioned fighting him once.." Utena uhms, grinning feebly. "Yeah, he came back for a rematch. Came to me and Himemiya in the evening the next day, smacked Himemiya around again, and then challenged me to another duel so he could get her back. I really didn't have a choice- one of the rules of the game is that a standing Victor, or engaged, can't refuse any challenge or else he gets thrown off campus for violating the rules." Her brow furrows. "This is a game that plays pretty hard." Wakaba says, "It .. doesn't sound like a 'game' at all.." Wakaba frowns slightly. "I don't get it.. you..you accepted the rematch right? And you won.. but.. why was Saionji kicked out of the Student Council..?" Utena scratches the side of her head. "I didn't know he was..." She shakes her head. "I guess he must have done something after I fought him that I don't know about?" Her smile becomes rather wry and dry. "That seems to be the new rule around here. Everyone knows things Utena doesn't know a damn thing about because they happened later than what I know of, or something...." Wakaba says, ".. Well you still know more than I do about this whole .. 'duelling' game." Wakaba offers with a half-hearted smile. Utena grins. "Not necessarily by choice, though." She stands up and stretches a bit, casting her eyes once more to the castle. "I don't even know what that thing is supposed to be, or if it's even real... all I was fighting for at first was for Himemiya's sake, so Saionji or anyone else couldn't treat her like crap like they had been doing. But.. since we got here, when she got here, she was totally different.. I don't think she really needs me to be that any more." Wakaba has yet to see for herself just how different Himemiya is, around here, thus she nods in silence, ".. is she still the Rose Bride..?" Baby steps Wakaba, Baby steps. Utena breathes out. "I.. honestly don't know." she says, turning her body slightly, rubbing her hands over her sleeves. "I don't think she is. She told me that she was done with all that..." Looking back over her shoulder, "And I'm glad for that, I really am. Things are already tangled enough, I'm glad I don't have to worry about that. But, at the same time, at least in some ways, I'm still the Victor." Wakaba can't say she's too pleased to know that.. you were lucky in the last few fights; what if you really get hurt badly? "..so what does that mean..?" You just have to duel .. for what? If you're not duelling for a Rose Bride, then what? ".. That's what I've been asking myself, and what I'm trying to find out," Utena confesses. "Right now, I have two duels outstanding.. Micky wants to fight me again, and so does Touga. And it's not about Himemiya, this time.. either of them.. it's about-me-. I don't know how I feel about that." Wakaba frowns, "Wait - what do you mean, it's about you..?" Wakaba flounders helplessly in the conversation, really - but she's trying to get a grasp of the thing. It just seems that everytime you say something, whatever she managed to grasp gets flung aside with the new information. Too much to take in. @.@ Utena sits down again, rubbing the side of her neck. "Uhm... let me ... well, I don't want to overwhelm you. I know how crazy this all is. It's just... that when Himemiya told me she was done with being the Bride... I was happy, right... I was glad she was free. That was all I originally wanted out of duelling.. that's what I thought, anyway. But then I realized that WASN'T all I wanted. I still.. -needed- to duel, for myself. I felt like.. it wasn't done, I couldn't just walk away. Even though I was ready to, until Touga came here.." She shrugs. "I still want to duel, until I feel like I've done whatever it is that isn't done. Touga and I ended up arguing, and got into a challenge where we were going to fight each other and whoever lost would leave the duel game for good. When I told Micky and Juri-sempai about that, Miki got angry at me too, and counterchallenged me to fight HIM first. Then Juri got mad, but she just walked off..." Wakaba places a hand to her forehead. She's beginning to get a headache trying to take this all in. Definitely something to ponder over later - don't try to think about it now, Wakaba. "Mm.. so .. when do you have to fight them..duel them I mean.." And what happens if you lose? Wakaba'll be..well it's hard to say. Happy you won't be risking your neck in such a brutal game, but at the same time, she'd feel sorry for you since this is.. something you feel you still need to do. In retrospect.. her Saionji problem seems so tiny. Utena says, "I don't know. I imagine the next time I see Micky..." She exhales. "I'm sorry, this was probably way too much to tell you all at once... I didn't mean to just dump it all on your head. I guess I've been carrying around a lot of stuff. It's not that all of us are really.. enemies, or anything... it's not really like that." The girl crosses one knee over the other. "It's more like.. honor, and duty... like our hearts compel us to do this because we couldn't be satisfied with anything less. But we don't go around beating each other up outside the duels, either. Maybe that's what happened to Saionji.. maybe he took out all his anger on somebody he shouldn't have. I really can't say..." Wakaba shakes her head quickly, "It's okay," she grins a little, ".. I .. don't even remotely understand half of what I was told really.." And she's not sure she wants to, to be honest. It all sounds so .. complicated. Uncurling from the Genki-ball, she stretches her legs out and rubs feeling back into them. At the speculation of what Saionji might have done to get kicked out of the Student Council, Wakaba glances down, studying her legs as she rubs pins and needles out of them, "... I guess.." She could, in theory, ask the man himself.. but she's not sure how she feels now. Pinning the letter in public.. that... she can forgive .. to an extent. But beating up on women, especially when one of those women was her best friend -- that is unforgiveable. "I still don't understand most of it," Utena smiles, that soft and friendly smile that seems to so easily take away all the pains. "I just go along with it and hope it all makes some kind of sense at the end. But.. what are you going to do? I mean, he's in your apartment now, right...?" She absently wobbles her foot as it dangles in the air, thinking. "That's got to be a difficult situation..." Wakaba's smile drops a little, "... I don't know, to be honest. I.. ever since coming to Ootori I've loved him .. he always seemed so untouchable, on a level I could never even hope to get close to. But I tried.. he never even really noticed me.. but that was okay, so long as I could still see him." Just to be near him. Curling up again, Wakaba rests her forehead against her knees, shaking her head with a slight shaking of her shoulders - though more from slight, mocking laughter than tears. ".. I feel like such a fool." Utena sucks in her breath. "Wakaba..." She begins, guilt in her tone. She KNEW it would smash your dream if she told you what she knew.. that's one of the reasons she always tried to laugh it off whenever you brought up Saionji. She moves around behind you to rest her hands on your shoulders and give you a comforting rub. "Ne...it's not as if I'm any smarter, you know," she confesses. "I mean... if anyone's a fool, I'm a bigger one than you..." Wakaba shakes her head, "But you knew.. you knew what he was really like, and .. and I wouldn't listen. I should never have written that letter.. should never have even thought I was.." Good enough. She's just another face in the crowd, and Saionji doesn't care about people who aren't special; who're just faceless people to be stepped on. "I thought he was different.." Meeting him in the park, away from Ootori and all those girls who fawned over him; she honestly thought she saw what he was really like. But how can she still hold a crush on someone who'd beat her best friend, and Himemiya? "I know." Utena coos softly, putting her arms around your shoulders to draw you into a hug. "I know. It's hard to see the faults in someone you love..." God does she know THAT one. And she really is no better off... putting her head so wililngly into the noose because it's TOUGA who's asking her to do it. Even though part of her is sure he's going to choke her with the rope she's giving him. "You're my best friend, and no matter what you do that's always going to be true, Wakaba. You can't do anything that'll drive me away. You're important to me because you're DIFFERENT from all the other people I'm dealing with. You're honest, you don't have any other junk going on behind the scenes." Wakaba half turns so that she can lean into the hug, burying her face against your shoulder as she curls one arm around your waist. "You're important to me to Utena..! You've always been there for me.. and ..even now ne?" She has to choke back a faint laugh at that. "What would I do without you Utena..?" Probably still gazing after Saionji with those mooncalf eyes, thinking he never has done anything wrong in his life. And even now, she still feels for him - though there's a distance to that. She can't forgive anyone who's hurt you after all. Utena strokes her hand gently along the back of your head under that ponytail. "Don't beat yourself up. We all make mistakes, right? We all do stupid things, or things that we do meaning well and we don't know any better. I don't think any less of you... but you've gotta decide what you want to do now, Wakaba." Wakaba nods silently, closing her eyes. ".. I don't know.. I don't know how I can even look at him now, knowing.." Maybe he had a reason for doing what he did? Maybe he really has changed? Wakaba shakes her head mentally, ignoring that little voice that wants to cling to the familiar, to her own biased view of the man she'd considered a god on earth once. Utena rests her cheek against the side of your head, just holding you comfortingly, and sighing quietly to herself. . o O ( Wakaba, I'm so sorry. Touga was right, I should have kept it to myself.... ) "I know how hard it is to let go of old feelings, Wakaba. You have to make the decision for yourself, regardless of what I say to you." Wakaba is, in the long run, glad to know the truth now, at least. No matter how much it hurts. "..I..I know.." She answers quietly, sounding, and in truth, feeling about as small and vulnerable as a newborn kitten. "..Thank you Utena.." Utena says, "Why don't you stay with me tonight, Wakaba.. spend the night at my place, get away from it for a little while. We won't talk about any of this stuff, just watch some TV and maybe order takeout, and just be normal girls, what do you say?" She pushes gently at your shoulders, so that she can look you in the eyes. Wakaba leans back at the gentle push against her shoulders, and raises one hand to rub at her eyes a little. She fairly jumps at the offer, a smile appearing as she snifs once, "Yeah.. that sounds like fun..!" Heavens alone knows she didn't want to go home, knowing -he'd- be there. She still doesn't know what to say to him - what to do. Utena leans forward and kisses your forehead gently. "I'm sorry I hurt your dream, Wakaba. I know I would be just as upset if the situation were reversed." She stands up and tries to pull you up with her. "Let's get out of here, right?" Wakaba stands up willingly, stretching her legs a bit. ".. It's okay Utena -- I'm.. glad to know." She grins a more sincere smile then, nodding, "Yeah, let's." This place sort of gives her the creeps. o.o Utena nods once, and moves toward the gate. So much happens here, in this one place... so many emotions. If she looked back she could almost see them... she shakes her head, turning her attention forward. ------------------------------------------------------------ Logging Stopped: 05/12/2001 at 20:13:49 ************************************************************