ANNE SLANDERS ANSWERS!
The DIVINE DIVA of the POISON PEN, ANNE SLANDERS, deigns
to answer her disgustingly depressed, maniacally masochistic, and gruesomely
grovelling petitioners. Are you man enough to follow her advice???
Below is the result of your feedback form. It
was submitted by () on Saturday, May 9, 1998 at 02:16:11 When I asked you to tell me your "stinking
problem" I never dreamed I would be taken literally! My answer to you is
very simple -- you are lucky you have a woman who would even CONSIDER loving
your malodorous hide! You better take a bath, bub, or resign yourself to
"the love" from only your five best friends, the ones wiggling at the terminus
of your arm! Stop spending your money on ganja and invest in some deodorant
and soap!
name: Rastadude
content: My squeeze, mon, she up and tell me she won't give me the love until
I takes a bath! My soul cries at tha rejection of me righteous bodily odors
dat nature has bestowed upon me. But I can't live without the love! What should
I do?
SHOE SIZE: bigger than a breadbox
SEX: Enthusiastic
SIGN: Detour
PSYCH: what's that?
ANNE SLANDERS ANSWERS --
A query came in from a person named ANGEL
on April 7, 1998. Angel, as I promised in my e-mail, I won't
publish on this page your rather interesting query, or rant, or whatever
it was. However, anyone who wants to can read it on DeeJ's STALKER
FLAMES guestbook page, entry 8. Makes me wonder. Do I hear a demented
MEOW in the background?
ANNE SLANDERS ANSWERS --
Below is the result of your feedback form. It
was submitted by (I'm so dumb, I forgot it!) on Friday, March 20, 1998 at
10:41:48 I find your answers to my questions MOST
REVEALING. Especially the cowardice you show in not providing your e-mail
address. The answer to your problem is so very simple-- YOU CAN NEVER WIN!
DEEJ HAS BEATEN YOU AT YOUR OWN GAME!
name: Catzella
SHOE SIZE: bigger than a breadbox
SEX: Hermaphrodite
SIGN: Condemned
PSYCH: what's that?
content: I have tried and tried and tried to beat DeeJ at her own game! Everytime
I do, she somehow turns it against me, revealing the idiot that I am. Is there
any hope? Can I ever win?
ANNE SLANDERS ANSWERS --
LEAVE DEEJ AND BOB ALONE! And most importantly, GET A LIFE! And I mean GET
A LIFE OF YOUR OWN!
Take up underwater basketweaving at your local boobyhatch.
Get laid, if anyone will have you.
GET PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP! STOP STALKING!
For those of you who don't know the
whole Catzella story, check out DeeJ
Pearl's Website.
Below is the result of your feedback form. It
was submitted by (pinkfrisbee@hotmail.com) on Sunday, March 22, 1998 at 04:53:57
Leslie, it figures you're a Taurus. Only
a bullheaded broad like you would think that licking a Tootsie Roll Pop
is a problem. Believe me, you could find worse things to lick! Just look
at Monica Lewinski's lick-related problems! Next time you grovel at my feet
for an answer, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A REAL PROBLEM!
name: Leslie
SHOE SIZE: same as my bra size
SEX: Female
SIGN: Taurus
PSYCH: blue
content: How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of
a tootsie pop?
ANNE SLANDERS ANSWERS --
Don't miss it! Anne Slanders, in her whole career as an advice columnist, has NEVER seen an attempt at Stalker Flames BACKFIRE so VERY BADLY!
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