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ANNE SLANDERS, THE ADVICE COLUMN FOR THE BRAVE AND MASOCHISTIC

Well, well, well. Another loser who can't handle his or her own problems. Seems three quarters of the human race answers THAT description. You think you're unique?!? HAH! You're just a birdturd on the sidewalk of life.

Okay, bozo. What seems to be your issue? Fill out the form below NOW, and if I deem you worthy of my public scorn I'll post your problem and my solution to it, and you better TAKE MY ADVICE or you'll be a miserable loser the rest of your boring and insignificant life!

Name

Enter your email address NOW, you birdturd:

Tell me your stinking problem:

Give me ALL of the following information or I will consider you unworthy.

What is your shoe size?

What is your sex?

What is your sign?

When was the last time you underwent psychiatric evaluation?

I think Lorena Bobbitt is . . .

If I were given one wish, I would wish for . . .

THE QUESTIONS AND ANNE SLANDERS ANSWERS

Now get to it and fill out that form, you reprehensible, whining sack of rotted goat leavings!
Ah, a fly has wandered into my web, said the spider!

The Venus Flytrap, a tale of Stalker Flames OR How I Became Miss Teenage Planet Egomania!

ANNE SLANDERS, THE ADVICE COLUMN FOR THE BRAVE AND MASOCHISTIC

THE QUESTIONS AND ANNE SLANDERS ANSWERS

Anne Slanders has been named Miss Teenage Planet Egomania! You won't wanna miss this tale of Stalker Insanity!